Workspace Oddity

This blog post was originally gonna be about invisible people, but I realized I was being an idiot and actually thinking about ghosts. Not invisible people. I’ll talk about invisible people a little later on.

That being said, what in the name of fuck am I talking about to begin with.

Fucking…. Ghosts. That’s what’s up.

Ghosts, by legend lore, are able to pass through mass, correct? Going through walls, reaching through people, doing other not-having-mass bullshit? Basically anything you wish you could do if you could just go through things (which makes me wonder why ghosts don’t just chill at lesbian naked parties all the time. That’s where I’d be.)

“I think they know I’m here…”

However, by having no mass, some might ask the question, “Why wouldn’t they just fall the core of Earth? How could they stand at the foot of my bed, let alone grab my fucking feet all creepy while I’m sleeping?”

But that would be recognizing that they have ANY mass: that they would be weighted by gravitational pull.

“So you’re saying they’d float away?”

Fuck off and stop asking questions, firstly.

Secondly, no that’s not I’m saying. I’m saying they wouldn’t float away unless they CHOSE to move in a direction away from Earth. They would not be retained by the gravity of Earth by any sense and could float anywhere.

But along those same lines, HOLY SHIT THEY DON’T HAVE GRAVITY RETAINING THEM TO EARTH. That means that ghosts, independent of all other forces, must move at the same rate of speed, rotation, and orbit of the Earth, just to maintain position in one location. Let me give you an equation. Shit’s about to get nerdy.

Gs = Ghost Speed, R = Rotation Speed of Earth, and O = Orbit Speed of Earth in Space.

The equation to find Ghost Speed is Gs=RO

Assuming the ghost is a ghost in Ecuador, spooking out some Ecuadorian babes, then Gs=1070*66610.991, since Earth spins at 1070 miles per hour at it’s equator, and Earth’s orbit is 66610.991 miles per hour.

Multiplying those two numbers to solve for Gs, you will find that the Ghost Speed is roughly 7,128,330.4 mph. That is how fast a ghost must travel INDEPENDENTLY of Earth, just to appear at the exact same spot. Forget walking through hallways really eerily or waiting for you behind your shower curtain that you swear was open the last time you got out of the shower so oh my God why is the shower curtain closed I should grab a knife before I get all naked and shit.

“I’m just gonna go ahead and murder myself for you.”

All that being said, any ghost that has been seen by the naked eye has probably been sweating his fucking Civil War General balls off trying to be seen by you, and the first thing you’re gonna do is turn around screaming to a bunch of people who will call you a lunatic and won’t give you the time of day. He has fought the fucking COSMOS to be seen by you, and that’s how you repay ghost general? Man, fuck off. Rude. Rude.

There’s shitty clipart for literally everything. Thanks, internet.

Now, backing up to invisible people for a second, I came to the realization pretty early on that I’m an idiot. I’ve been watching Misfits, and I have been waiting to see if the kid who can turn invisible can interact with mass. Then I realized that every invisible man in the history of everything has been able to interact with mass, and I was accidentally thinking about ghosts. I had written like 4 paragraphs before stating, “Wow no I’m an idiot. Delete.” and got rid of that blog entry. The thing about invisible people is that they can’t see unless their eyeballs remain visible. It’s…. it’s a whole thing.

Ditch the glasses and learn braille, no eyes.

RS